by This is a long one sorry….
I feel broken, I just witnessed what has to be the emotionally hardest thing ever, and I’ve witnessed child birth. My wife was walking out the door and said that if AJ hasn’t poo’d by eight to give him a suppository. And that’s where my fun night with the kids ended as that’s what I ended up having to do.
First the idea of putting a large eye dropper up a two year (close enough) old’s pooper is not my idea of a good time to start with but then having to squeeze the bulb is just not right…
I laid out the proper liquid proof mats, strapped on the rubber gloves and went for it. Not my proudest father moment but I got the job done and he didn’t react as badly as I thought he would. I mean he was not a happy camper, he blew some serious raspberries and staired at me as if to ask “why”, but when I was done he simmered down quickly.
2 minutes! That’s all it took. His pulse ox Machine showed that his heart rate almost doubled, his sat level plummeted to the point I bumped up his oxygen and made sure his emergency resuscitation bag was close by just in case.
He silently screamed as I could see his stomach start to bare down and his little chest heaved. He started to loose color and broke out in sweat. All I could do is run through all the emergency trainings and videos through my head. There is no training! No videos! Nothing to prep for this!
Little man fought for a good 10 minutes then he let go. The sounds, the smell! Oh this was not good, not good at all! The color came back, his numbers went back to normal, he relaxed.
Changed the diaper quickly to prevent any further damage as it could have seeped out the back. He filled it! And when I mean filled it, I mean this kid would have clogged a commercial toilet! The smell made my 8 year old daughter gag and she was in the other room!
Got the job done and he looked at me and started to silently scream again. Raspberries are being blown, rolling on the floor flaring his little legs. Then he let loose again! There’s no way! The last one was about the size of him. He looses color, his numbers go hay wire the sweating, This poor kid. Then it stopped.
A second diaper filled just as much as the first and smelled even worse. There is no way the diaper genie in all its magic and splendor will be able to Contain this monstrosity.
He laid down and closed his eyes for a well deserved nap. And I am now thumbing through psychologist in Cedar Rapids as Averie and I will most definitely need help after this one.
