by As parents we are constantly putting our kids first. Our kids will get new clothes and new shoes while we wear things from three+ seasons ago. But when you’re a parent of a kid who makes it hard – or even in some cases dangerous – to leave the house or even take a few minutes to yourself, putting your kids first can be on an entirely different level.
There’s a post going viral on Facebook – where people are asking you to comment with ‘something you need’ in the comments. Though the posts are spreading across all of my Facebook news feed, I’m particularly drawn to the posts in the support groups I frequent.
The need lists include a lot of the same things, no matter where the list is posted — a million dollars, a new car, a new job, someone to make dinner tonight because I don’t feel like it, magical weight loss… but then you start seeing things from parents and then medical parents:
- Bras and Underwear.
- Socks.
- Clothes.
- Shoes.
- A nap.
- Slippers — even more specifically, slippers with hard soles for the hospital.
- Medical bills paid.
- Extra respite hours.
- Someone to take a shift at the hospital.
- A watch — with a second hand for measuring respiration and pulse rates.
Some of this is a financial restriction, but not all of it. Some of it is simply a matter of taking time. As parents of kids who take some extra time, it’s really hard to remember to take some time for ourselves. It’s not like we don’t hear it, because trust me. We hear it. All of the time.
You can’t take care of your kid if you’re not taking care of yourself.
-Everyone, to every special needs parent, everywhere
Self care isn’t just bubble baths and face masks, or naps and coffee. Those things help, don’t get me wrong, but it’s about truly taking care of yourself. Brush your teeth so they don’t fall out of your mouth. Shower. Visit your doctor for your annual checkups. Eat actual meals and don’t try to sustain yourself on a diet of gummy bears and coffee. Change your underwear.
After making sure that life’s basic needs like shelter and food are covered, take 20 minutes and/or $20 out of your budget to take care of yourself. Even when you can think of a million other ways to spend it.
It can be so freaking hard to take those few minutes or few dollars. You’re exhausted. You would rather sit down on the couch and scroll mindlessly through Facebook and hang out in the support groups with other moms. You’d rather buy a new therapy toy, or maybe just take a nap. I get it. I would too. It’s easy, free, and I’m tired. (Who am I kidding though – naps are as mythical as Nessie herself!)
Today I spent some time (and money) on myself today and bought new bras. Does the general public need to know that? No. Is my mother likely to cringe because I’m talking about my underwear and immortalizing it on the internet? Maybe. But I did it after realizing how ridiculously overdue it was. I was to the point of ripping the underwire out of my bra and conceding that less support would be better than being impaled by my bra. And my restriction to getting new ones wasn’t financial (this time), it was simply a matter of needing to take the time to get on line to do the shopping.
What have you been putting off doing for yourself? How can you fit it in?
